Guarding against psychopaths or sociopaths

Summary
Psychopaths are developmentally different from "normal" people.  According to Robert Hare they are "intraspecies predators who use charm, manipulation, intimidation and violence to control others and to satisfy their own selfish needs. Lacking in conscience and in feelings for others, they take what they want and do as they please, violating social norms and expectations without guilt or remorse. "

While there's debate on the whole nature/nurture cause, my take is that it appears to be genetic, and there seems to be no therapeutic "cure."  From what I've read, about 2% of men and 0.5% of women could fit the criteria of a psychopath.

To guard against them, judge people based on their deeds (especially how they treat others) rather than their words.  Psychopaths wear a "mask of sanity" and specialize in fooling people and manipulating them.  God help you if you're a needy person.  Psychopaths seem to find them more entertaining.  One of their motivations seems to be the entertainment derived from manipulating people.  Think of a bored child poking at an anthill.  Or a cat tormenting a mouse.  Needy people put up with a lot more crap and provide much more entertainment.

If you've identified a psychopath in your life, cut off all contact.  Anything you say or do in reaction to them is playing into their game of manipulating you.  Since they're motivated by self-interest, you might think it helps to have leverage that could damage their self-interest.  For example, collecting proof of criminal behavior to law enforcement or perhaps collecting evidence of financial shenanigans that may be of interest to the IRS.  But they also tend to not feel fear, nor have any desired future plans, nor respond much to punishment.  If you actually use it, then you'll have to worry about retaliation from them in the future.  So... have no contact and keep scorched earth retaliation capabilities in reserve.

Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other "sins" are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not sinful---just stupid.) --Lazarus Long aka R.A. Heinlein

Can anything be done about these predators in our midst?  From their standpoint, there's nothing wrong with them.  From our standpoint, while we can certainly punish criminal behavior, but what do you do with someone who shows all the traits of a psychopath but doesn't commit any crimes?  Is causing emotional devastation a crime?  We've all hurt others emotionally... where do you draw the line?   I imagine in a tribal society, a psychopath would either kill the chief and take over, or else be killed by the chief or else shunned.  But in our modern world, a psychopath can hop from location to location and leave their reputation behind.  And know that most victims would rather just "move on" rather than commit a violent crime that could get them locked up. 

Comments

[Natasha]

The father of my baby is a psychopath, he has hurt me tremensdously, and already started on the baby. I am trying to prevent him seeing my baby, but I have not much proof of his evil deeds. And most people think I want to prevent contact just because of revenge, and know nothing about this type of smart charming psychopath who they believe when he is doing his good father act. The damage he does is great. I feel powerless to prevent abuse of my child. Ofcourse because I love my child dearly, I also suffer a great deal from that. Isn't there something that can be done, to prevent these things from happening?
For example, education of the general public, children, women, the police, health care workers, psychologists etc. about the existence of these personalities? Changing laws, so that mental abuse is punisible, not just for abusing children, but also adults? There is a test to determine wether someone is a psychopath, by dr Robert Hare. Why not make it preferable to use when examining abuse cases, mandatory even because those psychopaths ofcourse will not cooperate voluntarily. Maybe even use those tests that show certain brain parts that lite up when the person is exposed to pictures which invoke different reactions in psychopaths than in normal people.
Should we form a lobby organisation, to get this on the political agenda? I do see a hurdle, many succesful politicians are known to be psychopaths themselves, so the right politicians should be approached.
If anyone wants to talk to me about this, I am interested to hear from you (possible through this forum I guess)!

[Julia R. Duncan]

I am so sorry to hear about the situation you are currently in. Number one, good job for realizing the man you are with or were with is ill, there is not much you can do for him but what you can do is keep yourself and your child safe. Yes, the Hare test should be mandatory for those who are convicted of certain violent crimes which I am assuming your ex has not been. He sounds like a sociopath with his being able to fool those around to make it seem like he is a loving and caring father. I have been in a similar position before and I know the worst part for me was NOT BEING BELIEVED!!!! You do not need to convince any one that he is dangerous, what you can do is document when he has hurt you or the baby and when he has made any type of threat and get to the court house to file for a protection from abuse order. Before you do this though, get someone you trust to let you and your child stay there after you file for the order because you do not want to go home and have him do something because he is angry with you. Do not tell any one where you are staying and make sure you have someone with you at all times if possible, don't find yourself alone at this point. Your child's safety and yours is number one priority and seem very intelligent. Please, don't be afraid to speak out to family members and let them know what is going on in case something does happen to you or your child. Also, keeping a daily journal of what is going on is key, you have no idea how handy mine was when it was time for court. DOCUMENTATION is very important because these kind of individuals can easily fool those they come in contact with. If you need to write more feel free, I'll check daily to see if I can help with any thing else. Good luck sweetie and stay strong for that beautiful baby of yours, neither one of you deserves this, no matter what he says!!!!!