Ohhh, about a year ago, Tom, you exclaimed "what society?" in reference to my tearful screaming in the middle of the night about how much motherhood really sucks in today's society (after three months of motherdom, I knew I had received the short end of the person-stick...I was melting away, fast). It was maddening to have that be your response to my lonely isolation. And I was quite ready to pick up the bed and hurl it at you with the force only a desparate mother can know (actually, I think I tried to rip apart the tissue box - and failed). But, those words hurdled my way at 3am stuck with me. What society?
So, fine. If I am not happy with how motherhood is understood and practiced in today's America of 2005, then this bitch mama is going to start doing something about it.
Yeah, yeah. Women have come along way. Mothers haven't. But the fact that the women's movement of 1960's and seventies has made a dent in how women are perceived and treated gives me hope that things can change for mamas too.
Mothers are people too. Somehow this obvious statement has been lost on all of us. We have taken the status quo for granted. This is how it goes down in our culture: Men and women are different. They, therefore, should have different roles and be treated accordingly. Really, it's that simple. All of rest of how our society is structured comes down to those two statements.
But, of course, this is all bullshit. Women and men, although biologically different, are people. We all have the capacity to give love and the need for great love. We all have the power of thought, voice and action. These different qualities are not unique to one sex. Instead, we need the personal and public space to act on who we are as a person - mother, wife, employer(ee), volunteer...however you understand yourself to be, in completion. It should not be either/or. Women and men deserve the opportunity to be themselves fully. Moms and dads deserve the opportunity to be both parent and individual. It would be best for the parents and the children to have both parents at home part-time as well as to have the parents outside the home, contributing to their own self well-being -- in order to best contribute to the health and happiness of the family.
No longer should only the mother be faced with the decision of whether to work or stay-at-home, but dads too. Families need the policy and social infrastructure in place in order to allow each unit to choose the parenting/working schedule that works best for them.
Perhaps this revolution can be ignited by mothers, furthered by fathers, supported by our society and adopted by our government. It would mean a significant culture change. Are we the people ready?
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